T-Shirt Police Strike At Second Grader

As our kids grew, we allowed them to watch Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street on Public TV. Turns out that we have unknowingly scarred out kids for life. A school in Arizona near me last year made a 2nd grader turn his Sesame Street T-shirt inside out, deeming it offensive. The lovable characters who neighborhood helped our kids learn to read, write and sing had an ulterior motive to which we were blind.

This youngster wore this shirt to school as many of you allowed your kids to do. It had Bert and Ernie, Cookie Monster, and Oscar the Grouch on it. These subversive characters were recognized by mugshots on posters all over. The principal of the school immediately took action and made the perpetrator turn his shirt so he would not infect the other children and bring about the end to society or at the least incite a riot on the playground.

The characters represent, according to the principal, the worst of human characteristics and offend many in our culture either openly or subliminally. If you look at them closely, you can see that she is right on the mark and we should do away with all these characters and with anything might be different or inspire differentiation. The world would be a better place if we did not know how to get to Sesame Street.

Cookie Monster is the largest and most obnoxious of the characters. He is focused on only one thing, cookies. He will steal to get them, connive to obtain them, and because of this, he represents obesity. How many of us have Cookie Monsters in our family? These gluttons just want one thing to get more dough and sugar into their system so they can make our family’s lives unbearable. Never mind that he can count cookies, he is dangerous and subversive to our way of life.

Oscar the Grouch lives in a trash can. A character with a big heart, he is constantly saying negative things. When he learns he is wrong, his character softens and he gets along with others. Do we really want our kids to know that speaking out for themselves and ideas is wrong? Oscar promotes dissension with his constant grousing, and we want kids who are docile, go along with the status quo, and don’t think or express ideas. After all, those that create problems and rock the boat should be ostracized.

Bert and Ernie represent a questionable relationship. Who is questioning it? Suddenly two guys who live together and share bills and a house and a bed have a questionable relationship? Maybe this is all they can afford. Who cares? They offer the kids ideas on getting along. When I was growing up, my brother and I slept in the same room. We should be happy that these two have survived.

This school also will not allow any shirts that have liquor or religious symbols on them. The liquor I can understand, but religious symbols? Teachers are also forbidden from wearing jewelry in plain sight that depicts anything religious, and no jeans. These female teachers are now working with kids and are expected to get down on the floor with them, move around and get up again? Some kids, I imagine, will get quite an education!

I wonder if Mr. Rogers is ok? After all, he often went to the Land of Make Believe.

Doughnut

Whacky

I am definitely out of whack.

This morning, I was in my office catching up on email and Face book (I do not do Farmville, though) and the TV was playing in my office. Just noise, but it is good to every now and then catch up on what it happening in the world (Just in case someone tries to send me one of those forwarded emails that are supposed to wake me up to what is happening in the world by giving me a false story about something…)

Just as I got up from my chair to go get more coffee from the kitchen, (God, it is good to commute to work inside my own house!) a story about get-a-ways to Sedona was ending on the TV in my office. As I rounded the corner into the kitchen, the story ended again. DÉJÀ VU? No, my two TV’s seem to be separated by a delay of about ten seconds! This really astounded me… I mean, how can one signal to two TV’s be separated by such a large amount of time?

What if there was a break in the space-time contiuum and I actually was able to move through time backwards ten seconds? I mean, I could take back stupid things I say or do before I say or do them! Arguments with my wife would be narrowed down to nothing. Or, I could do other things over and over until I get them right.

If I developed quickness (at this stage of life, that is doubtful), could make bets with my kids after I know the outcome. Or I could go to Laughlin and make a killing! The possibilites are endless.

Television and movies lead us to believe that if we change the past, we change the present or the future. But, if the past is changed, then the present and future never know anything else, so there is really no change.

But would I really change the past? No, all my great friends, experiences are a part of me. To change them would be to change me. And I am about as lovable as one fat guy can get.

If I could change something, though, I would not let that wagon tongue-thing drop on my head at an early age….

Doughnut

When Did We Get Like This?

I feel bad for the people of Denver and Boulder, CO. They never got to have fall. They went right from summer to winter.

Today is the first day of Fall, the autumnal equinox has occurred and we are now moving towards the cold days of winter. Denver did not get to even experience Fall as its residents woke up to snow on Monday. They missed it completely.

What else have they missed? Raking? Leaves blowing all over? Indian Summer? Did, they wake, like Brigadoon, one hundred years later and now are totally confused by the world?

Let’s face it, the world is going a little crazy. Iran says Israel should be annihilated, Israel says they have to nuke Iran so Ahmadinajad will shut up. Michael Jackson is killed in some bizarre mishap. People are already beginning the “End of the World” chant for December of 2012...

When did our world get so paranoid? Probably when 9-11 occurred and the rock of the Free World was attacked and did not turn the other cheek, but went blindly off to right the wrong. Things began to spin a little faster then, and we became suspicious of everyone and little happening.

It could have been when CNN was created and we suddenly had access to news 24-7-365. CNN “embedded” reporters in war zones. I remember when the US first attacked Saddam. Just before a basketball game I was coaching started, we stopped and had a moment of silence for the soldiers involved in the invasion. Playing a game did not seem appropriate, but we did, to show that no one can disrupt our lifestyle. After the game, though, we all went home and huddled around the TV until the wee hours of the morning watching as the bombs fell.

Life has never been the same since. Our lifestyles have changed. We are now searched before flights, before entering stadiums, before going on trains. We have not missed it; all this has occurred while we had our eyes open and were fully awake.

The only thing we missed was the Cubs fading in the fall. That happened in mid-August.

Denver is covered in snow, has a winter storm watch out for tonight. Time for them to put on their wooly underwear and build a fire. They can brew the hot chocolate, wrap up in a Snuggie, and settle in.

Can spring be far behind?

Doughnut

Reality of Today

Is Reality TV real? I admit readily that I refuse to watch the so-called “reality” shows like “Survivor” or “Big Brother” or any of those other shows like “Clean House”, or “Hell’s Kitchen”. But my family seems to be enamored with them. Where in the world is there any reality at all in them?

My wife and kids gather in the living room on just about any late night and watch RECORDED versions of the “Hell’s Kitchen,” “ Project Runway,” “Ace of Cakes,” “Food Network Challenge” and a verisimilitude of others. They laugh, discuss happenings and berate the players. I cannot watch these. I guess it is against my better judgment as to what good television is and what is not. Where is the plot? How are these people not following a script? I know that if the guy on Hell’s Kitchen got in my face while I was preparing a flambeau, he might have hot stuff on him. This is not “Reality”; no one would take that abuse. Matter of fact, most of these people who are screaming and yelling and demeaning people would be opening themselves up for a number of lawsuits. This is not reality, because it is not live; not REAL, All these shows are taped, and all the participants must sign non-disclosure clauses. By the time we see these shows, they have been over for months and have been edited. Not exactly reality, is it?

Sports programming is live, dramatic, and one never knows the outcome until the end. That is reality! How do people deal with adversity, communicate, resolve conflict? Even the weather becomes a factor in those sports that are done outdoors! I am not talking about the entertainment of wrestling, I am talking football, basketball, golf, volleyball, even extreme sports! Like the ABC Wide World of sports always said at the beginning, “The thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat.” That is what reality is, not whether the execs of CBS decide Johnny is off Survivor because his ratings are not high enough.

Reality is creating expectations and living up to them. As a coach for over 30 years and parent for a little longer, I have had my instances of defeat and I have had them victory. I yelled at my players and my kids when they stepped out of line, or did not live up to the expectations I set for them and myself. No one was harder on me than me.

Recently I know of a coaching friend who was suspended from coaching for yelling at a player who had thrown his helmet and cussed at a coach. The player stepped out of line and my friend admonished the kid strongly in no uncertain terms. But was athlete punished for his behavior? NO… my coach friend was, though. His head coach did not even stand up for him. The head coach did not discipline the athlete, either. The administration listened to the players, the parents, but not to the coach.

Now, that is the reality of today!

Doughnut

My Kids

I have a wonderful and strange relationship with my natural children. That is not to say that I have other children how are unnatural, but these children that I fathered in concert with my wife, Dorothy, are fantastic kids.

They are not unlike other kids, they just grew up in a different environment. Their parents were teachers. Dad was also a coach in about a million different sports, and a radio announcer on weekends. They were raised by their mother for the most part. I was there for the conception, but after that, I cannot take too much credit for how they turned out. I used to say that the reason I had children was to have servants. As they were growing up and naive about the ways of the world, they thought it was quite natural to go get Dad something when he wanted it. A beer? No problem, I taught them how to use a bottle opener or a pop top at an early age. A sandwich? They knew their way around a kitchen by the time they started kindergarten.

I had this theory at one time about language. If a child is a "Tabula Rasa", then it should be relatively easy to change the meanings of things. For instance, a door could become a window, or a car could be a train. It would only take a little training and the kids would enter school with a totally different vocabulary than other children. Fortunately, Dorothy would not let me conduct my little experiment. She was, after all, an elementary school teacher, and she would get them before me.

Being around me when I was home or at the gym was enough. They quickly developed tough skin. I was not the easiest person to please, but they tried their hardest to do it. Jim played football and did music and drama, and was even in FFA for a year. Debi played volleyball, basketball and softball, and she was also in the chorus. They had to endure being "coach's kids" and "teacher's kids". I went out of my way to make sure that they were treated probably a little harsher than others were. I was not as patient with them as I was with other kids, and especially Debi endured my rath during basketball practice to spare the rest of the team getting yelled at.

But, we got through those teenage years. They probably did more raising of me than I of them. They definitely widened my horizons. I am sure I never would have listened to rap music nor gone to see "Eight Mile". Technology would have passed me by had it not been for them.

When we had these two whippersnappers, we were young enough to not know what we were getting ourselves into. We also wanted to have them early enough so we could enjoy them as adults without having to have them push us around or change our diapers. I can truly say that I have raised my best friends. Now that, is an unusual feeling and a pretty wide open statement.

I mean, why would Debi want to hang around with me after I relentlessly brushed the knots out of her hair until she cried? And Jim...after our "five minutes of say anything to Jim" in English class, why would he want to talk with me let alone let me cheat at golf?

Now we argue like to old people sitting on a porch. We use language to each other that mistifies my sisters in law. Outsiders would think we have no respect for each other, when in reality, we have a great deal of respect for the others. I have since changed my mantra....I no longer say "I had children to have servants," now it is "I had children to have friends."

I hope you experience the same.

Doughnut

Jackass

The President of the United States was caught off microphone yesterday telling an interviewer that Kanye West was, “…a jackass…” Well, Mr. President, you hit the nail on the head! I only wish that it would not have been off mike, and revealed by some twit from ABC on twitter. I wish you would have been able to come right out and say it in an open interview.

For once, we heard a real opinion that was honest and real. Nothing phony about that opinion, and it did not take an act of Congress to form it. Amazingly, no one in the public who knows about the incident at the VMA awards with Mr. West ruining Ms. Taylor Swift’s moment in the spotlight was likely to stand up and say, “YOU LIE!” The President was speaking for himself, not his administration or Congress. He gave voice to what many in the viewing audience, including myself, thought to themselves!

Beyonce showed a lot of class and solidified her stature as not only a star, but a good person. I was truly proud of her when she asked Swift to come back on stage and deliver her speech. If you saw the video of her in crowd as West spoke, you saw her embarrassed, “Oh, MY GOD!” mouthed loudly and succinctly.

I watched as Kanye West apologized on the Jay Leno show the other night. He appeared to be remorseful, and have trouble talking. His eyes gave the appearance of being sorry. He offered to help Ms. Swift in her career and, I think she should take him up on this. He owned his error and did not make excuses for it. West even acknowledged that his late mother would not be proud of him and would have given him a lecture.

Can’t really say that for Representative Wilson, though. He embarrassed the entire House, Senate, the State of South Carolina and US with his unprofessional outburst. Yet, in some circles, he is considered a hero. Since the incident, he has raised more than a million dollars for his re-election campaign. His apology was not heartfelt and actually looked to be something akin to what a mother might make her son say to his little brother whom he hit with a hammer intentionally. Little brother might buy the apology, but mom and dad don’t. He should be sent to his room without dinner until he really means what he said in his apology.

The House voted pretty much along party lines to tell Wilson he was a “jackass,” but no one from either party said it out loud in front of an open microphone. The resolution was not binding and did include and penalties for violating protocol. Wilson has opened up the door for more boorish behavior in an institution known for disagreeing civilly.

Let me go on record as saying that I put Mr. Wilson and Mr. West on the same level. Both would be better off living on the streets of Oatman, Arizona, and old mining town in the desert which is overrun by jackasses, getting carrots from passersby and walking in and out of shops with other the burros.

Doughnut

They Lie!

The other night, a representative of the state of South Carolina yelled at the President of the United States, “You Lie!” South Carolinians probably either shuddered or raised out of their chairs cheering, depending on their political leanings.

Michael Jordan told the crowd at his Hall of Fame induction that he told Tex Winter, “There is no I in TEAM, but there is in WIN.”

Both of these Southern gentlemen, in different ways, professed the overpowering “What have you done for ME lately” that seems to be permeating our American society. There is no togetherness anymore and everyone is suspicious of our leaders and their motives. One party seems to be asking that we protect everyone, the other says that they are protecting the rights of all. One screams their message and even adds hateful words to their message. This message seems to be pulling the nation apart much like the message of the 1860s did. And we all know where that led us.

Jordan’s speech was of competitive fire, but it hid a glorification of self. “I did this…. I had the fire” He never mentioned his teammates who gave him the ball, who played defense against the other players. I doubt highly if he would have been the player he was had he not had the teammates who gave up their games and sacrificed so he could grab the headlines. He inherited a team which was failing and turned them into a winner, but he was surrounded by others who helped him, he cannot claim, although he does, that he did it, not they did it.

I recently retired from coaching and teaching after 34 years. Through those years, I can honestly say that I never accomplished anything alone. My marriage is definitely a team effort, with me being the manager, and my wife being the general manager. I often let my teams decide things like practice times, and discipline. One time, they were having difficulty with the offense, and so I let them alone and had them do an offense. It worked, and we adopted the offense the rest of the year and won quite a few games. Everybody won because a few were able to change. They did not yell and scream that things had to be done their way, they negotiated and came to a unified conclusion.

Jordan disappointed me. He revealed that he was more of an egotist who was more concerned about winning and having his own way than I ever thought he did. His use of the prime pronoun really shocked me. But his way of thinking is not much different than the two parties who are struggling to work out a health care program. They both want their own ways, and there has to be a middle ground that is good for all involved.

The parties that brings the hatred to the table and the other issues are doing nothing more than taking away from the real problems and clouding the debate. There has to be some give and take. There has to be a point at which one decides to trust their leaders and hope that they are is going to take the the country to a place where all are looked after. Everyone might not be happy, but in America, the majority rules. If these groups which spew hatred and misinformation are convinced that things have to be done their way or the rest of us should take the highway, there is one thing for certain:

They Lie!

Doughnut