Got up early today...4:15AM. The sun was not up yet. Why did I get up so early? To take the fruit of my loins to the airport so he could catch a plane to Peoria, IL. He was then going to drive the 2.5 hours to Paxton to attend the wedding of his friend and my pseudo son, Ryan Carlson.

It is Ryan's wedding that is spurring this episode.

It is tough for me to remember the day I was married. Really, it is tough to remember what I had for breakfast yesterday. But none the less, Ryan's marriage has made me think about my 35 years of wedded bliss.

I don't know how I found a beautiful woman in the first place. Back in 1973, this young, beautiful brunette with hair so long she could sit on it, caught my eye one day as I was on the Eureka College campus visiting. Visiting? YEs, I had quit and was contemplating a return engagement. When I saw her, I knew that I needed a college education! So I told her and her boyfriend at the time, that I was returning, and if he did not treat her right, she would be mine in the fall. To make a long story short, I should have written more prophecies that day. When I returned in the fall, we were not only dating, but by November we were engaged! And, we remained so until August of 1975. That is when she really hooked me.

Married life has been quite a ride, and I have enjoyed it. Don't mistake the past tense as the end of the road, though. I realized early on that I had met my soul mate.

Those of you, like Ryan, who are contemplating the big jump into monogamy, I have a few tidbits:

1. She is always right.
2. When she is wrong, she is right.
3. If you even think she is wrong, remember 1 and 2.
4. Never go to bed mad, if it can be avoided. (There are
obvious reasons why for this.)
5. If you do go to bed mad, be the first to wake up so you can fix
breakfast.
6. Include in your vows, "What is yours is yours, what is mine is
yours."
7. When you have kids, remember they all look like her.
8. Pick up your underwear and socks, wash some dishes, learn how to
operate a vacuum.
9. Tell her you love her constantly, even when your buddies are around.
10. This is most important....Learn to Put the Toilet seat DOWN!

Good luck to all you newlyweds out there. Remember, you think it is hot today on your wedding day? You ain't seen nothing yet! If it is raining, there are sunny days ahead.

Ryan, we always have a couch for you.

Dougnut.