Me? Lose Weight? Not On My Head!

Ever lost weight? I have, thousands of pounds. Everytime I do, I tell myself that I will keep it off, but I don't. Those nasty pounds come back with a vengenance and take over my middle again. I go from looking like a stick figure to a balloon that might appear on the Macy's Parade at Thanksgiving.

I mention all this because my brother, Jim, has come out to see us for a week. He and his wife have lost massive amounts of weight over the last six months, and I am really proud of them. They have accomplished a lifestyle change. So has my good friend and former student, Sarah. They are really improving themselves and they look great.

Over the years, people have seen me thin, thick, and everywhere inbetween. Right now, I am hovering at a wealthy 240 pounds, thanks to a bout with the flu this week. If you are driving down Arizona 93 between Laughlin and Wickenberg, don't stop for the little piles of Shields along the road. I have to say that my first experience with wretching along side the highway was not pleasant. I do not regret the fact that I was a virgin when it came to puking my guts out in a cactus.

Weightloss is an input output thing. Eating right, exercising, and getting plenty of water are essentials. Why then, can't I lose weight like I used to do when I was wrestling in high school, or during my younger, leaner years when I would run? The answer is easy. I am lazy and I have become accustomed to my sedate world where running involves only those steps needed to catch something falling from the refrigerator. I have not had to buy clothes in a long time, and I wear the same pants and shirts I did three years ago. Besides, the health club membership I have will get used eventually when I get the occasional impulse to see other humanoids and outfit myself in spandex.

For now, my refrigerator will have to get accustomed to the healthy food that is in it from Jim. The spinach (You can get it without the can?), fruit, and other vegetables that it doesn't normally get to stand guard over will fill it for a week. My neighbors will see him walking and think it is me, and when I start after he leaves, they will think I have been doing it all along.

I just hope, though, that I do not lose weight where he did. When he first came into my house and took off his hat, I noticed that his head was considerably smaller. I don't think I can afford a smaller head.

Doughnut